Warning - this post has reconstruction photo's included

I promised a photo post and here it is at last. Actually it's been quite fun putting it together as it shows my journey to date and I hadn't actually realised just how far I've come. I have left out the more gory shots so as not to freak anyone out.

It's been 11 months exactly since my original operation to remove my healthy breasts. Some days I'm glad I did it, some days I'm upset as I don't love the results, but overall I like them and they have a much smaller chance of killing me (2% as opposed to 85%).

I'm nearly at the end of my journey. I had my meeting with my bcn a few weeks ago and we had a big chat about nipples. She put my fears to rest about having the surgery.

There wouldn't be a huge protrusion problem as I could ask Mr Thomson to make them any size I like, being as he isn't trying to match one side against another like in a single sided mastectomy. There also wouldn't be an issue with dissolvable stitches being left behind to try and make their own way out of me at a later date as they only use regular stitches which would be removed after 2 weeks.

I spent the next 2 weeks happy and decided, I was going for it. I would have my new nipples put on and look finished at last.

Then doubt crept in again.

I've been round and round inside my head and have asked opinions of others trying to help me to make my decision. I posted a message to my facebook friends as I wanted a male perspective other than that of my husband as he's biased. I didn't ask this question as I want another partner. I love my husband dearly, but as a woman, I'm interested. I was also thinking crazy things like what if Alex isn't with me forever? What if something awful happens to him and I'm alone and deformed. Who'll want me then?

Only 3 men bothered to answer me, but do you know what? They helped me more than I could have imagined was possible. Their message was that any man worth his salt would love his partner regardless of any finishing touches or missing parts. Any that had an issue were not worth being with anyway.

Of course. Stupidly, I hadn't even thought of that. It was so obvious that I hadn't even seen it. Like a light being shone in front of me, I could see my way immediately.

I don't want fake nipples. I like my smooth boobs. I like no underwear, I like strappy tops and backless tops and all the lovely things that I couldn't wear before. They are my prize, along with a hopefully longer life, they are the only other perk of what I've done to myself and I don't want to give that up because I need a bra to hold down my permanently erect nipples.

I'm going to do what I want. I am going to have some pretty tattoo's added to my boobs. I've spoken to someone whos work I love and he's agreed to do it for me. I just have to choose a design. The hunt is on!